http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/en-UKMokoFeed10http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/67/cf8ee51359262458698ec5289866b5_160x200.jpghttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/remembrance-old-firm-style-7350078/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-11-11:/2009/11/11/remembrance-old-firm-style-7350078/Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:41:49 +0100 <p>I was a naïve 18-year-old when I arrived at Glasgow University in 1993, never having been to Scotland's biggest city before for more than a couple of hours. I’d grown up in Aberdeen, disliking Celtic and Rangers purely because they were big teams who got in the way of my team’s hopes of winning trophies; I had only the vaguest awareness of their sectarian affiliations. The last 16 years have been an education, and I still haven’t got my head round the warped logic of Old Firm allegiance.</p> <p>It’s been thoroughly depressing to see pea-brained bigots trying to twist Remembrance Sunday and Armistice Day to their own agenda. Depressing to hear a band of Celtic fans singing in protest outside the Falkirk Stadium during a minute’s silence on Sunday. But equally depressing to read about the indignant ravings of those Rangers fans who hijack the poppy for their own anti-Catholic agenda. Depressing to hear the editor of fanzine Not the Celtic View saying that he “neither condemns not condones” the incident at Falkirk, depressing to see the moral high ground subsequently claimed by internet ranters who would blithely sing about being “up to our knees in Fenian blood”.</p> <p>Armistice Day is not about the glorification of the British military, as the above would have us believe. Most of all, it is for sombre reflection on how close the world came to cataclysm in the 20th century. How depressing to see the poppy sucked into the poisonous little vortex of Old Firm squabbling.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/remembrance-old-firm-style-7350078/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>old-firmbigotryceltic-fcremembrance-sundayarmistice-daysectarianismrangers-fcfootballhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/remembrance-old-firm-style-7350078/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/07/13-syllables-7325558/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-11-07:/2009/11/07/13-syllables-7325558/Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:10:55 +0100 <p>Never mind whether Newcastle have sold out with their new stadium name. I'm more interested in the epic amount of syllables that have been squeezed in: there's a grand total of 13 in the (draws breath) sportsdirect.com @ St James's Park Stadium. Bloody hell, the Gettysburg Address wasn't much longer.</p> <p>Part of me is reluctant to write anything about this. The branding experts behind this decision must have known there'd be an outcry and that no fan would ever use the ludicrous new name. They will also have known, though, that the more ridiculous they made it, the more it would become a talking point. So they surrounded "St James's Park" with some faddy lower-case letters and a dash of tautology (isn't a professional football team's park always accompanied by a stadium?) Then they rubbed their hands in anticipation of newspapers' mocking sports op-eds and the outrage-fuelled phone-ins. And there you go: how many of us are talking about a sports shop chain that only existed on the fringes of our consciousness last week?</p> <p>The new name is not the result of some corporate numbskulls' incompetence, but a calculated attempt to get some leverage for a brand, precisely by reducing an iconic sporting venue to a laughing stock - and in doing so, flicking an even mightier two fingers to the Newcastle fans than some might have realised. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/07/13-syllables-7325558/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>st-james-parkfootballnewcastle-unitedsports-directcomhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/07/13-syllables-7325558/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/up-north-7308952/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-11-04:/2009/11/04/up-north-7308952/Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:40:02 +0100 <p>The Highland League is like French pop music: a familiar form in a bizarre parallel world. Like Serge Gainsbourg singing about men with cauliflowers for heads or suicidal ticket collectors (youtube.com/watch?v=HsX4M-by5OY), it has a whole lot to recommend.</p> <p>It's home to some of the world's most evocatively-named football teams: all hail Buckie Thistle, Forres Mechanics and Clachnacuddin. There are so many crazily high-scoring games that anything less than a 5-5 draw with seven sendings off and a refereeing fatality in a freak seagull collision leaves spectators tinged with disappointment. Not to mention hard men so uncompromising they make Vinnie Jones look like guy from the Domestos ads, and the grisly pleasure of seeing how many Fort William get humped by each week. </p> <p>Sadly, as my friends at Inside Left document elsewhere - <a href="http://www.insideleft.net">www.insideleft.net</a> - the plight of Clach shows the Highland League is as vulnerable to the vagaries of global economics as anything else.</p> <p>If you're anywhere near places like Wick, Rothes, Fraserburgh or Turriff, get along to see these towns' teams play. The games are entertaining and the welcome warm, as I can testify from when my stag-do stopped for several hours at Cove Rangers' dinky Allan Park (capacity about 1,500). Our waitress in the hospitality section - which was a smidgeon of the cost for a far stuffier affair at Pittodrie - would not stop bullying us to quaff free booze. It was the first time I'd seen a stag party protest that they'd really rather stop drinking now, thanks very much. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/up-north-7308952/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>allan-parkhighland-leaguecove-rangersfort-william-fcfootball-hospitalityfootballclachnacuddinserge-gainsbourghttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/up-north-7308952/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/how-good-is-marlon-king-7278382/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-10-30:/2009/10/31/how-good-is-marlon-king-7278382/Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:52:40 +0100 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/images_8/4058908" title="images[8]"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/908/4058908_519b24c387_s.jpg" alt="images[8]"></a>Marlon King is a thug and bully, but also possessor of an arrogance inversely proportional to his talent. I can just about stomach a bit of posturing from Cristiano Ronaldo or Didier Drogba. But Marlon King? Just how good is he?</p> <p>Bear with me here.</p> <p>At the time of the offences that led to his conviction this week, he was a Wigan player but had been sent out on loan to Hull City. So he was surplus to the requirements of the first-team squad at a mediocre Premier League club, but got a few games at a team that escaped relegation by a point. Let's say every top-flight English team has a first-team pool of about 30, as Wigan do. 30x20 = 600. King was lucky if he was the 500th most desirable player in the English Premier League (before he plummeted to No 600 this week).</p> <p>Let's now work on the basis that the Spanish, Italian, German and French leagues are of a roughly similar standard. That's another 2,400 players. The top halves of the Greek, Turkish, Portugese, Dutch and Russian leagues aren't bad: another 1,500 players. Let's say there's an average of five teams that would give Wigan a game in the Scottish, Belgian, Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, Austrian, Swiss, Ukrainian, Polish, Romanian and Czech leagues. That's another 1,650 players. Say 10 lesser leagues across the continent can each muster the equivalent of two Premier League squads: 600 players.</p> <p>Brazil? OK, Europe might routinely plunder their best players, but this is still the planets's greatest football nation, so let's throw all 20 Série A teams into the mix: 600 players. We'll take a modest average of five teams each from Argentina, Chile, Uruguay, Peru, Bolivia, Venezuela, Ecuador, Paraguay and Colombia; moving north, the same for Mexico and the USA: 1,650 players.</p> <p>Africa's Champions League could easily pull together 20 teams who'd have no fear going to the JJB or the KC: 600 players. The Japanese and South Korean leagues aren't all that bad - five teams each? 300 players. We're up to 9,800, but surely we can cobble together another 200 from the rest of the world who wouldn't embarrass themselves in a relegation dogfight against Wolves or Burnely.</p> <p>In other words, Marlon King might just about scrape into the 10,000 best players in the world.</p> <p>The 10,000th best tennis player in the world goes for a knockabout down at his local club before heading home for a curry and the CSI double-bill; the 10,000th best gymnast in the world does some cursory acrobatics in a grubby circus; the 10,000th best ice hockey player failed the auditions for Estonia's version of Dancing on Ice. King, meanwhile, reportedly makes £35,000 a week for not being all that good at his trade.</p> <p>King went to jail for punching and breaking a slightly-built girl's nose after she dismissed his unwanted advances. Before he threw that blow, he hit her with the almost-as-stunning revelation that he was a millionaire and she was a fool not to recognise him.</p> <p>Never mind anything else this unpleasant man has done - he deserves locking away to recuperate from the extreme delusional state he's found himself in.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/how-good-is-marlon-king-7278382/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>arrogant-footballershull-citywigan-athleticmarlon-kingfootballhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/how-good-is-marlon-king-7278382/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/drumcree-scarf-7224937/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-10-22:/2009/10/22/drumcree-scarf-7224937/Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:50:15 +0200 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/drumcree_1/4030893" title="Drumcree[1]"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/893/4030893_356b1c5b21_s.jpg" alt="Drumcree[1]"></a></p> <p>Rangers gave free tickets to the military for their champions League game on Tuesday. Take a look at the bloke with the scarf on the left-hand side. Isn't the British Army meant to be the neutral upholder of law and order during contoroversial Orange marches? PR gone wrong, if ever I saw it.</p> <p>(Image originally shown here: <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/8317426.stm">http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/8317426.stm</a> ) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/drumcree-scarf-7224937/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>drumcree-marchrangers-fcbritish-armyfootballorange-marcheshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/drumcree-scarf-7224937/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/09/03/roman-will-be-sulking-6886821/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-09-03:/2009/09/03/roman-will-be-sulking-6886821/Thu, 03 Sep 2009 23:25:11 +0200 <p>Hilarious. Chelsea aren't allowed to sign anyone for another 16 months. Now if that ban could only be extended to all the other European football behemoths, football might start getting interesting again. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/09/03/roman-will-be-sulking-6886821/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>footballchelsearoman-abramovichhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/09/03/roman-will-be-sulking-6886821/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/09/03/mcghee-abuse-6886809/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-09-03:/2009/09/03/mcghee-abuse-6886809/Thu, 03 Sep 2009 23:21:40 +0200 <p>Why is it that so many people think football exists in a moral vacuum? Mark McGhee was the subject of vile abuse from a section of Motherwell supporters last week, which doesn't deserve repeating in any form. These people wouldn't try to get away with it at work, at the theatre, in a restaurant, on the bus, at the shops - or, in my experience, while watching any other sport. So why is it tolerated at football? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/09/03/mcghee-abuse-6886809/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>aberdeen-fcmotherwell-fcmark-mcgheefootballhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/09/03/mcghee-abuse-6886809/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/24/aberdeen-fc-everton-sigma-olomouc-fraser-fyvie-joleon-lescott-football-european-league-6812455/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-08-24:/2009/08/24/aberdeen-fc-everton-sigma-olomouc-fraser-fyvie-joleon-lescott-football-european-league-6812455/Mon, 24 Aug 2009 22:34:31 +0200 <p>Back in the mid-1980s, Aberdeen and Everton won the European Cup Winners' Cup within two years of each other. Both teams had a period where they could justifably lay claim to being the best side in Europe: Aberdeen beat then-European champions Hamburg in December 1983 to win the Super Cup; a superb Everton side won the English league twice in two years, but were denied the chance to lift the European Cup in the aftermath of the Heysel disaster.</p> <p>A few weeks ago, Aberdeen were hammered 8-1 on aggregate by Sigma Olomouc, the heaviest European defeat for a Scottish side in nearly 50 years. Earlier this week, Everton swatted aside the same Czech outfit 4-0 - and that on the back of their 6-1 thrashing by Arsenal days earlier. On Saturday, their threadbare squad stretched to the limit, Aberdeen gave a debut to 16-year-old Fraser Fyvie, the youngest player to play for the first team in the club's 106-year history. Everton, meanwhile, are expecting to rake in £22million from Manchester City for a middle-of-the-road central defender, Joleon Lescott. The chasm in resources between English and Scottish football has reached unprecedented proportions.</p> <p>Part of the appeal of football is that, because of the low-scoring, just about any side can beat any other side with the right combination of organisation, guts and luck. But the charm of the underdog is fast fading into memory. An ever-smaller number of clubs is dominating European football; an ever-smaller number of clubs is dominating football in England, home to the world's richest league. The sheer spending power of the bigger teams is eliminating the unpredictability of football, one of its biggest assets. The biggest clubs, of course, want to rule out any chance of smaller teams preventing them from gorging on the wealth of the Champions' League by cutting ties with the small fry and forming a European league. The day that happens is the day the lights go out. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/24/aberdeen-fc-everton-sigma-olomouc-fraser-fyvie-joleon-lescott-football-european-league-6812455/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>evertonsigma-olomoucfootballaberdeen-fcfraser-fyviejoleon-lescotteuropean-leaguehttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/24/aberdeen-fc-everton-sigma-olomouc-fraser-fyvie-joleon-lescott-football-european-league-6812455/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/20/how-to-become-a-legend-6769832/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-08-20:/2009/08/20/how-to-become-a-legend-6769832/Thu, 20 Aug 2009 23:41:32 +0200 <p>Barry Ferguson comes out before a crucial Scotland game and whinges about the way the SFA made him persona non grata. A few days earlier, Darren Fletcher had said representing Scotland at the World Cup would surpass anything he's achieved with Manchester United. Fletcher's reverence for the World Cup reveals an intelligent mind and an understanding of football history. Ferguson, in stark contrast, always found it far easier to get motivated about Scottish football's domestic baubles; playing for Scotland often looked a chore for him.</p> <p>International football is frequently run down these days, but it's at the World Cup that indelible reputations are made. Salvatore 'Toto' Schillaci's name is fresh in the memory of anyone who had even a passing interest in Italia '90, like my wife or my mum, to whom more talented Italian strikers of the 1990s such as Enrico Chiesa, Pierluigi Casiraghi and Guiseppe Signori are unkowns. It's at the World Cup that the greatest - Maradona, Pele, Cruyff - rubberstamp their talent before the watching world. But overachieving journeymen can leave legacies, too. Who'd have thought a diminutive, balding Scot would score one of the best World Cup goals of all time? How many people would remember Archie Gemmill if he hadn't?</p> <p>Decades from now, when Ferguson is forgotten, the exploits of Schillaci and Gemmill will still be revered. Missed your chance, Barry.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/20/how-to-become-a-legend-6769832/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>darren-fletcherscotland-national-football-teamworld-cupfootballsalvatore-schillaciarchie-gemmillbarry-fergusonhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/20/how-to-become-a-legend-6769832/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/14/norway-shocker-6725930/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-08-14:/2009/08/14/norway-shocker-6725930/Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:08:02 +0200 <p>Even some of the more sensible media pundits - Richard Gordon, for one - have been getting stuck into George Burley. It's all just a bit too easy, and a bit of historical perspective is required.</p> <p>A few decades ago, Norway and the Netherlands were footballing backwaters. Norway have been at least on a par with us for a long time, and the Netherlands long ago left us in their slipstream, Archie Gemmil notwithstanding.</p> <p>There was a lack of foresight shown about the development of the Scottish game, back when Burley was still in short troosers. This is the country that only sent 13 players to the 1954 World Cup when we were allowed to take 22, because the powers-at-be didn't think it was worth putting up a full squad; we lost 7-0 Uruguay. The country that only recently has realised that putting skinny wee boys out to play on full-size pitches might not be the best idea, that the Dutch were onto something with their small-sided matches and focus on youngsters' skills over winning trophies.</p> <p>Burley might have done a better job, but we should be looking to the history books for the root cause of Wednesday's humiliation. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/14/norway-shocker-6725930/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>scotland-national-football-teamnorway-national-football-teamfootballgeorge-burleyhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/14/norway-shocker-6725930/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/05/there-is-nothing-like-a-6660757/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-08-05:/2009/08/05/there-is-nothing-like-a-6660757/Wed, 05 Aug 2009 23:10:10 +0200 <p>So Real Madrid have bought Xabi Alonso for a mere £30million, the latest blow in their tit-for-tat with Manchester City to see who can spend the most grotesque amount of money this summer. It's like watching rival pantomime dames stuff their bras with ever more ludicrous amounts of tissue.</p> <p>Football's big boys may blithely carry on paying no heed to the world around them, but the economic realities we're all dealing with are going to hit them sooner or later. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/05/there-is-nothing-like-a-6660757/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>manchester-cityfootballreal-madridtransfersxabi-alonsohttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/08/05/there-is-nothing-like-a-6660757/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/31/25-years-on-6621150/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-07-30:/2009/07/31/25-years-on-6621150/Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:48:40 +0200 <p>I feel sad more than anything else about Aberdeen's thumping in Europe tonight. Mark McGhee's last game as an Aberdeen player was in a European semi-final in 1984. His first as manager was to lose 5-1 at home in a preliminary round.</p> <p>I know Aberdeen and Scottish football have been overtaken by forces far beyond their control in the last 25 years. But couldn't more have been done to build long-lasting foundations on the success of a team that, for a time, was Europe's best? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/31/25-years-on-6621150/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>aberdeen-fceuropa-cupfootballsigma-olomoucmark-mcgheehttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/31/25-years-on-6621150/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/30/first-gretna-now-livi-6614934/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-07-29:/2009/07/30/first-gretna-now-livi-6614934/Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:30:49 +0200 <p>Looks like another of the newer names in Scottish football will soon cease to exist. Not that Livingston FC will be mourned by too many. Like Gretna, they were perceived as Johnny-Come-Latelys who upset the established order by living outwith their means.</p> <p>But what's more worthy of contempt? A Gretna or Livi who took risks and dared to aspire to success against the odds, or an Albion Rovers or East Stirling, enjoying impunity from relegation and content to bump around the farthest depths of the league structure in perpetuity? There are plenty of better-supported and more ambitious teams in the Highland League, East of Scotland league and the Juniors. Let's open a trapdoor like they have at the bottom of England's Division 2 - it'd be one small step to reinvigorating Scottish football. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/30/first-gretna-now-livi-6614934/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>albion-roverslivingston-fcleague-structurefootballgretna-fceast-stirlinghttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/30/first-gretna-now-livi-6614934/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/30/sidney-govou-and-the-well-youngsters-6614907/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2009-07-29:/2009/07/30/sidney-govou-and-the-well-youngsters-6614907/Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:19:44 +0200 <p>A good few years ago I taught English to Sidney Govou. Sidney went on to play for Lyon and France, but at that that time he was a 15-year-old nightmare with a penchant for dancing on tables when he should have been conjugating verbs.</p> <p>Four years later, I bumped into him at a party after he'd been signed up by Lyon. As people got wasted around him, his presence was conspicuous. He was upright, immaculately turned out, spoke quietly and seriously, and refused umpteen offers of booze and snacks. This was a young man intent on going places.</p> <p>A few months ago I was on the same train as two Motherwell youth players on their way to training. They were stuffing their faces with Lion Bars and Irn Bru. Sidney would not have approved. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/30/sidney-govou-and-the-well-youngsters-6614907/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>motherwell-fcfootballsidney-govoulyonfrancehttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2009/07/30/sidney-govou-and-the-well-youngsters-6614907/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/11/18/diego-gets-ambushed-by-the-record-5058953/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-11-18:/2008/11/18/diego-gets-ambushed-by-the-record-5058953/Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:04:29 +0100 <p>There’s a picture on the back page of the Daily Record today of a journalist looking like a plonker and Diego Maradona looking mildly alarmed. The Record wanted to reward Maradona, somewhat belatedly, for knocking England out of the World Cup in 1986. They had a special glass paperweight-cum-trophy, and Maradona looks like he’s afraid he’s going to be lamped. More likely, he’s been caught unawares because there was no pre-arranged photo opportunity – it looks like one of those photos you take of yourself by extending your arm as far away as possible and clicking, invariably producing an unsettlingly leery countenance – and because he can’t quite work out why he’s getting the bauble.</p> <p>It’s a bit tragic that the greatest moments for a Scottish football fan tend to involve the schadenfreude of seeing England knocked out of tournaments. I used to think those “Scotland’s Player of the Year” t-shirts – Pearce and Waddle in 1990, Southgate in 1996; you get the picture – were a riot. Now I think they're embarrassing. Perhaps it’s because we’re so focused on English defeat that we’re more accepting of our relative mediocrity as a football nation. While other small countries like Holland, Denmark and Uruguay can look back with fondness at their major championship triumphs, it is the 1966 World Cup final that is seared on our consciousness – and fear of a repeat that is our abiding obsession.</p> <p>I doubt if Diego would have been any less bemused after it was explained what the trophy was for. He’s a winner; the Scots, he must presume from the way we revel in others’ defeat, are inveterate losers who can only hope to drag others down with them.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/11/18/diego-gets-ambushed-by-the-record-5058953/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>footballscottish-national-football-teamengland-national-football-teamdiego-maradonadaily-recordhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/11/18/diego-gets-ambushed-by-the-record-5058953/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/22/we-hate-beckham-beckham-is-us-4914348/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-10-22:/2008/10/22/we-hate-beckham-beckham-is-us-4914348/Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:02:08 +0200 <p>England fans must hate themselves. It’s hard to conclude otherwise when you see the venom directed at their own any time the national team fails to win. Expectation builds up to a frenzy before tournaments, and when failure inevitably occurs there’s a huge backlash: listen to the Radio 5 or TalkSport phone-ins and hear the strangely exultant hatred that gets directed at the hapless players. The fans revel in the pre-tournament hype and they revel in crushing failure; it’s strangely masochistic.</p> <p>The vitriol heaped upon David Beckham during radio phone-ins would make you think he was the chief executive of HBOS or Bradford and Bingley, if you’d somehow never heard of him. Beckham, having won more England caps than any other outfield player apart from Bobby Moore, suffers from a cumulative effect. He’s been around for longer than any other England player and is therefore held responsible for more failures than any of his colleagues.</p> <p>Yet he won’t retire from international football. Like the fans, he keeps coming back for more, in the hope that it’ll one day lead to glory: he is the embodiment of the England fans biennially renewed optimism. When they pour their hate out on him as it all ends in tears again, they’re tipping it all over themselves at the same time.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/22/we-hate-beckham-beckham-is-us-4914348/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>david-beckhamengland-national-football-teamfootballbobby-mooreengland-supportershttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/22/we-hate-beckham-beckham-is-us-4914348/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/21/not-just-knuckle-draggers-4905875/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-10-21:/2008/10/21/not-just-knuckle-draggers-4905875/Tue, 21 Oct 2008 10:21:38 +0200 <p>Well done Walter Smith. Rangers chairman David Murray has been laying into the Rangers bigots for a while now, but I can’t recall Smith ever expressing his disdain for the sectarian “bile” that refuses to dislodge itself from the club so bluntly as he did a couple of days ago. Having the Rangers manager and chairman join forces in this way might just be a watershed at Ibrox, in the same way the signing of high-profile Catholic players by Graeme Souness was 20 years ago.</p> <p>They’ve still got a long way to go, though. The media likes to portray the Old Firm bigots as knuckle-draggers, almost a different species from their ordinary, decent supporters. Yet as I write on the train this morning, there’s a Northern Irish guy a few yards away from me who’s relaying what he describes as Smith’s “disgraceful comments” to a fellow Rangers supporter. Apparently, Smith is to be respected for what he’s done for Rangers in the past, but this attack of Rangers traditions is out of line and it’s time for him to go. This is no Buckfast-swilling neanderthal: he’s dressed in a pin-striped suit, has some fancy-looking cufflinks, and is reading the Daily Telegraph; we’re on the way to Edinburgh and everything about him screams respectable civil servant.</p> <p>Sectarianism is not restricted to fringe elements at Rangers – it’s part of the fabric of the club. Which makes Smith’s stance even braver.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/21/not-just-knuckle-draggers-4905875/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>rangers-fcdavid-murraybigotrygraeme-sounessfootballsectarianismwalter-smithhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/21/not-just-knuckle-draggers-4905875/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/18/boyd-v-iwelumo-4893107/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-10-18:/2008/10/18/boyd-v-iwelumo-4893107/Sat, 18 Oct 2008 23:57:31 +0200 <p>Chris Iwelumo has reacted with incredible good grace to the humiliation of that miss against Norway last week. He's had to field constant questions about an incident that's made him an object of derision on YouTube, and done so patiently, openly and without griping about being a figure of fun.</p> <p>Meanwhile, Kris Boyd has thrown a strop and gone off to pet his lip in a corner because he didn't get a game last week.</p> <p>Iwelumo's humiliation was far greater than Boyd's, and the reaction of both reveals a little about what type of men they are. I don't care about Boyd's impressive career scoring record or that Iwelumo's a journeyman who got a game because of a handful of impressive performances in England's second tier. Give me Iwelumo over Boyd in a Scotland jersey any day. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/18/boyd-v-iwelumo-4893107/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>scotland-national-football-teamfootballchris-iwelumokris-boydhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/18/boyd-v-iwelumo-4893107/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/18/good-little-boys-4893070/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-10-18:/2008/10/18/good-little-boys-4893070/Sat, 18 Oct 2008 23:39:15 +0200 <p>Strathclyde Police praised Scotland fans for their good behaviour before and after the World Cup qualifier against Norway last weekend. Isn't this a bit odd when you think about it? Isn't it the sort of thing teachers say about their pupils when they haven't stuck chewing gum on the museum's prize exhibits or mooned passing motorists? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/18/good-little-boys-4893070/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>scotland-fansfootballhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/10/18/good-little-boys-4893070/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/09/23/more-significant-than-robino-4770362/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-09-23:/2008/09/23/more-significant-than-robino-4770362/Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:35:18 +0200 <p>Robinho, despite his his £32million price tag, was not the most significant signing on the last day of the transfer window. The little-noticed (beyond the north-east of Scotland) arrival in Aberdeen of Birmingham’s Sone Aluko deserves that distinction.</p> <p>Aluko cost about £50,000 – Robinho, to save you the calculation, was 640 times as much – but his departure is symptomatic of all that is wrong with English football. An under-19 England international who marauded past Bayern Munich’s defence while on loan to Aberdeen last season, he’s a wonderful talent that deserves the chance to test himself in the Premier League, but has been squeezed out of even the Championship by clubs that prefer to look for sure things from abroad than take a chance on homegrown raw talent.</p> <p>The English national team is already suffering from a drying-up of decent young players, and stars whose huge salaries mean they just don’t care that much about playing for their country. (Put the recent thumping of Croatia to one side – remember what happened after a foreign manager masterminded a 5-1 win in Germany seven years ago?) Its underachievement is a symptom of the disease: clubs which are willing to sell their soul to any dubious source of mind-boggling sums of cash.</p> <p>The transfers of Robinho and Aluko on the same day were a symbolic moment for English football: feeding the egos of millionaire owners now trumps the development of indigenous talent.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/09/23/more-significant-than-robino-4770362/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>footballaberdeen-fcsone-alukorobinhomanchester-cityhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/09/23/more-significant-than-robino-4770362/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/should-have-gone-to-specsavers-4030812/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-04-11:/2008/04/11/should-have-gone-to-specsavers-4030812/Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:30:17 +0200 <p>Gary Megson must be the most spectacularly short-sighted manager of all time.</p> <p>With a chance of winning the UEFA Cup - a competition the club had celebrated gaining entry into with gusto last year - he chose to field a reserve team against Sporting Lisbon last month. Not surprisingly, Lisbon won. Megson had prioritised escaping relegation from the Premier League, and rested his best players for that challenge.</p> <p>What a blunder: winning a European trophy makes a manager and his team a semi-mythical part of their club's history, revered down the ages. Look at the misty-eyed reflection in Aberdeen newspapers just now as the 25th anniversary of the Dons' European Cup Winners' Cup pumping of Real Madrid approaches; consider the reverence in which Celtic's Lisbon Lions are held, or the fond memories of the club's run to the UEFA Cup final in 2003 (against the blurring of one league title into the memory of another); Brian Clough's extraordinary success with Nottingham Forest reverberates down the years more than his almost equally remarkable achievements with Derby County - because Forest won the European Cup twice, and County never did.</p> <p>You blew it, Megson. You had a shot at leading Bolton to the greatest day in their history, being remembered as a club legend. Now your best chance is to be the workaday manager who once just about kept the club clear of relegation one season - and even that looks unlikely.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/should-have-gone-to-specsavers-4030812/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>celtic-fcgary-megsonaberdeen-fcsporting-lisbonfootballlisbon-lionsbolton-wanderersderby-countynottingham-forestbrian-cloughhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/should-have-gone-to-specsavers-4030812/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/moral-vacuum-4030737/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-04-11:/2008/04/11/moral-vacuum-4030737/Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:16:29 +0200 <p>No one batted an eyelid the other night when, after Theo Walcott's amazing run to set up Arsenal's equaliser against Liverpool, one TV pundit chose instead to focus on the apparent stupidity of the defender who could have pulled Walcott down to prevent the goal.</p> <p>A couple of days earlier, one fan each from Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester United are assembled on Radio 5 to discuss their team's chances in the Premier League, only to start lobbing wit-free jibes of a level I last heard during a nursery school spat.</p> <p>No one at United, Chelsea or Manchester City seems to be at all bothered about the dodgy backgrounds of Messrs Glazer, Abramovich or Shinawatra - not while their teams are winning anyway.</p> <p>Robbie Fowler was widely castigated a few years back for revealing a t-shirt with a message for Liverpool's striking dockers; there's a nervousness among club owners and pundits alike when football and politics start to mix.</p> <p>For years we were fed the line by much of a shameless media that sectarian abuse spat out by Old Firm fans was just working men getting a bit of frustration off their chests - no harm in it, doesn't mean anything.</p> <p>There's a common link to the above: football is routinely allowed to exist outwith the standards of behaviour, morality and difficult questions that make up real life. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/moral-vacuum-4030737/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>theo-walcottmoralitythaksin-shinawatraliverpool-dockersfootballmanchester-citychelsearobbie-fowlerarsenalold-firmsectarianismradio-5manchester-unitedmalcolm-glazerhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/moral-vacuum-4030737/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/03/23/shhhhhhh-3927243/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-03-23:/2008/03/23/shhhhhhh-3927243/Sun, 23 Mar 2008 21:55:19 +0100 <p>Rangers’ fans were on spectacularly impotent form on Wednesday night. I was in the Broomloan End with two Partick Thistle-supporting friends, who, along with another 3,000 or so of their ilk, were delighting in raising an index finger to their mouths and shushing ten times as many home fans. Rangers fans just don’t seem to know what to sing these days, now that ditties about being “up to their knees in Fenian blood” have been banned.</p> <p>Until very recently, there used to be an attitude among police and the footballing and that as long as it’s confined to the stadium, this sort of ugly triumphalism doesn’t do too much harm. That was misguided at best, dangerously negligent at worst.</p> <p>In David Winner’s book about Dutch football, Brilliant Orange, one chapter deals with the Jewish identity of the country’s most famous club, Ajax. He reports how supporters of their biggest rivals, Feyenoord, have a particularly charming line in anti-Semitic insults: they hiss in unison and shout “Trains for Auschwitz leave in five minutes”.</p> <p>“The abuse is widely viewed as a symptom of childish football tribalism than anti-Semitism, and has become so commonplace that police hardly ever bother to prosecute,” writes Winner. “Hadassa Hirschfield, deputy director of the Centre for Information and Documentation about Israel in The Hague, considers the trend ‘dangerous’ because it lessens the taboo against anti-Semitism.”</p> <p>The taboo against sectarianism in Ibrox, similarly, seemed almost non-existent until UEFA started threatening Rangers with elimination from European competition if their supporters didn’t clean up their act. But at long last, they’re being forced to rack their brains and come up with alternatives to the bigotry that’s been coursing through Ibrox for decades.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/03/23/shhhhhhh-3927243/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>bigotrysectarianismdavid-winnerajaxbrilliant-orangerangers-fcfootballanti-semitismhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/03/23/shhhhhhh-3927243/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/02/15/poor_little_rich_things~3733154/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-02-15:/2008/02/15/poor_little_rich_things~3733154/Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:36:31 +0100 <p>Writing elsewhere about five years ago, I predicted that the pressures of football’s bid for world domination could lead to a scenario where Manchester United were put under pressure to move lock, stock and barrel to London. We’re not quite at that stage yet, but the bizarre notion of a 39th game in the English Premier League shows the same deep reservoir of contempt for the sport’s tradition and integrity.</p> <p>I admit to a little schadenfreude as supporters of Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United wring their hands about the implications for their clubs’ future. They may revel in the skills of Adebayor, Torres and Ronaldo while Darren Mackie is testing my forebearance yet again, but at least when I go to Pittodrie I’m putting my money towards a football club – not a global marketing strategy.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/02/15/poor_little_rich_things~3733154/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>footballenglish-premier-leagueaberdeen-fchttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/02/15/poor_little_rich_things~3733154/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/02/15/luca_toni_good_player_top_class_human_be~3733148/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2008-02-15:/2008/02/15/luca_toni_good_player_top_class_human_be~3733148/Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:35:27 +0100 <p> There are three ways to deal with abuse from opposition fans: most players ignore it, a few stoke it up, but it’s only a tiny minority who confront it head on with good grace and humility.</p> <p>Luca Toni is one such exception. At one point in last night’s Aberdeen-Bayern Munich UEFA Cup tie, a small object I couldn’t identify – although its erratic trajectory suggested it wasn’t a coin – flew past Toni from somewhere in the South Stand. Toni turned round, turned his palms upwards, cocked his head and furrowed his brow in disapproval. To which he was roundly jeered, and responded with the predictable cupping of the ear as he jogged back to the half-way line.</p> <p>A short while later Toni fluffed a chance at the near post and the South Stand erupted in derisive laughter. In similar scenarios I’ve seen many a player respond with an ugly scowl, muttered profanities and a sly but obscene gesture. Toni, though, smiled good-naturedly, put out his hand straight out to the South Stand and made it waver up and down, left and right: “Not very good, am I?” he was asking with surprising irony and self-deprecation.</p> <p>Toni’s response immediately defused the situation of any hostility. There were a few more smiles to come the way of the South Stand from the Italian striker, and any ribbing he got for the rest of the game was distinctly lacking in venom.</p> <p>Compare the CIS Cup semi-final last week, when Dundee United keeper Lukasz Zaluska, for a full minute or so, celebrated a goal for his team by continually turning round to the Aberdeen supporters behind him, pumping a fist under his arm and hurling unintelligible abuse their way. I’d never seen a professional player respond in this way before – split-second outbursts, yes, but never have I a player carry on so aggressively for so long after the dust should have settled. (Incidentally, this in no way condones the morons who responded by flinging cups, coins and chocolate bars at him, but I saw nothing thrown his way before his bizarre and inflammatory outburst – contrary to some media reports).</p> <p>Zaluska showed himself up as a low-life but I have new found respect for Toni, a man I’d dismissed as a diving prima donna at Hampden last November.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/02/15/luca_toni_good_player_top_class_human_be~3733148/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>footballluca-toniaberdeen-fcbayern-munichlukasz-zaluskadundee-unitedhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2008/02/15/luca_toni_good_player_top_class_human_be~3733148/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/17/wake_me_up~3153180/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2007-10-17:/2007/10/17/wake_me_up~3153180/Wed, 17 Oct 2007 22:25:14 +0200 <p>I feel queasy.</p> <p>Scotland are playing with that familiar air of panicked desperation. Georgia are lording it over them like a playground bully who's stolen your conkers and is twirling them contemptuously, just out of reach.</p> <p>I haven't seen that since ...</p> <p>AGGGHHHH!!!</p> <p>He's coming towards me, arms outstretched, wearing that inane yet malevolent grin.</p> <p>He sings, puntuating each utterance with a taunting, drawn-out, sibilant 'z'.</p> <p>"We are ze cheeky boyzzz! We are ze cheeky boyzzz! Touch my bum! Don't be shy!"</p> <p>NOOO!!! IT CAN'T BE!!!</p> <p>BERTI LIVES!!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/17/wake_me_up~3153180/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>georgiafootballberti-vogtsscotland-national-football-teamhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/17/wake_me_up~3153180/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/08/classic_footballing_stereotypes_no~3105662/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2007-10-08:/2007/10/08/classic_footballing_stereotypes_no~3105662/Mon, 08 Oct 2007 22:18:03 +0200 <p>Aberdeen coach Sandy Clark pontificating about AC Milan keeper Dida on Radio Scotland tonight:</p> <p>"Being Brazilian, he's obviously temperamental."</p> <p>Yes, really. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/08/classic_footballing_stereotypes_no~3105662/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>footballdidasandy-clarkhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/08/classic_footballing_stereotypes_no~3105662/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/03/dida_and_mcghee~3080808/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2007-10-03:/2007/10/03/dida_and_mcghee~3080808/Wed, 03 Oct 2007 22:01:45 +0200 <p>MARK McGhee can look forward to a career in journalism when he leaves football management, should he wish to pursue that line of work.</p> <p>A fan has just run onto the pitch at Parkhead and struck out at AC Milan keeper Dida, seconds after Celtic had scored what proved to be the winning goal.</p> <p>Apparently - I'm listening to Radio Scotland - Dida ran after the fan, then stumbled melodramatically to the ground and had to be stretchered off.</p> <p>Analyst Murdo MacLeod is foaming at the mouth at the Dida's apparent antics - he's making the most of it, claims MacLeod.</p> <p>Enter McGhee and a voice of reason. McGhee, who has impressed with his calm and insightful thoughts on the game since becoming manager of Motherwell, chides MacLeod. Dida may be faking injury, but it is too early to draw any opinions - did the guy have a knife, did Dida have a flashback to horrific indcident when he was hit by a flare thrown by an Inter Milan fan, have we seen it from the wrong angle? We have to wait for the tempestuous atmosphere to subside and look at things with a clear head.</p> <p>Some say trying to find out about the world by reading a newspaper is by telling the time with a clock that only has a seconds hand. McGhee, though, has the sort of cool rational head that makes a a journalist - never mind a football pundit - par excellence. Look out Nick Robinson.</p> <p>On another note, I almost pity the idiot that ran onto the pitch and nobbled Dida. Football fans have no sense of perspective (you wonder how many see any irony in Bill Shankly's claim that it is more important than life or death) and the retribution this guy will get in the streets of Glasgow, in the workplace and in prison - if that's where he ends up - will be far more than the crime deserves. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/03/dida_and_mcghee~3080808/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>champions-leaguemurdo-macleoddidamark-mcgheeceltic-fcac-milanfootballhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/10/03/dida_and_mcghee~3080808/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/06/23/gaelic_goals~2505403/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2007-06-23:/2007/06/23/gaelic_goals~2505403/Sat, 23 Jun 2007 14:48:44 +0200 <p>THERE really is no escape these days. For all the media attempts to define the essence of summer as stawberries and cream at Wimbledon, tumbling in the mud at T in the Park or inane sexual shenanigans on Big Brother, fitba still creeps through the cracks of the close season and demands our attention.</p> <p>Flicking through the channels late at night earlier this week, I stumbled across one of the most bizarre fillers ever to take up space on the box: Gaelic fitba. Presumably having struggled to fulfil a Gaelic broadcasting quota, Scottish Television had exclusive highlights of an amateur match from some picturesque corner of the north-west Highlands.</p> <p>The game was watched in the flesh by one distracted-looking elderly chap in a bunnet and a gaggle of urchins behind one goal, intent on demonstrating their mastery of profane hand gestures to an unfortunate goalkeeper. The Gaelic-speaking commentators made game attempts at stirring up enthusiasm, but were somewhat undermined by the portly players' muted celebrations each time a goal was sclaffed into the net; they looked almost ashamed (is participation in football the act of a social pariah in shinty country?)</p> <p>I had no interest in who won and neither, it seemed, did anyone else, but my neutrality and the lilting, unintelligible commentary was strangely pleasing. It was less like watching football and more like the the zen bliss of Burt Bacharach-soundtracked Teletext pages on BBC2 in the wee small hours of a Tuesday morning. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/06/23/gaelic_goals~2505403/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>footballgaelic-football-scottish-stylehttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/06/23/gaelic_goals~2505403/#commentshttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/06/12/naismith_s_nae_bigot~2442486/tag:fitbahell.blog.co.uk,2007-06-12:/2007/06/12/naismith_s_nae_bigot~2442486/Tue, 12 Jun 2007 23:04:00 +0200 <p>What a traitorous mercenary that Steven Naismith is. So you might expect Rangers fans to protest as one of their own stands to be pilfered by the green and white hordes.</p> <p>Naismith - unlike the more bilious element that takes up much of Ibrox - seems an even-tempered, amiable type of chap. He's part of a generation where the old tribal loyalties are fading away - ever more quickly as the Scottish and European football authorities have finally cottoned on that sectarianism might not be a good thing. So who's to blame him if he moves to Parkhead if it's a better move for his career?</p> <p>Even Rangers fans seem reluctant to direct vitriol at Naismith so far. He'll undoubtedly have to field abuse from a few vein-popping, blue-nosed eejits if he moves to Celtic, but a glance through the Daily Record Hotline today suggests that Ibrox regulars are more concerned about the humiliation of having lesser financial clout than their rivals - not that Naismith might ditch the chance to go to the team he's long supported.</p> <p>Things are changing in west of Scotland fitba. I wouldn't have believed I'd be writing this a couple of years ago, but it looks like the singing of the Billy Boys at Ibrox will be reduced to the quaint quirk of a lunatic fringe before too long. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/06/12/naismith_s_nae_bigot~2442486/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>celtic-fcfootballrangers-fcbigotrysteven-naismithsectarianismhttp://fitbahell.blog.co.uk/2007/06/12/naismith_s_nae_bigot~2442486/#comments